What It Means To Be Heart-Centered

I talk a lot about being heart-centered and keeping my ego in check. I talk a lot about it because I continue to see evidence of uncontrolled ego running amuk. I talk a lot about it because I continue to see this in life coaches, spiritual advisors and energy workers. These are three professionals, I would least expect to see demonstrating it. I have higher expectations of such people. I hold them to the same standards as I hold myself. However, ego-centeredness is an epidemic running rampant and has no regard for race, color, creed, gender, profession etc.

Not only is every situation an opportunity to learn and teach, but every relationship is too. In every relationship you are meant to be the teacher and the student. To think yourself just the teacher your ego is inflated. To think yourself just the student your ego is deflated. Either way, if on a see-saw, you are going to stay down because not only will you only get half the experience, but that half won't be nearly as rewarding as it would be balanced with the other. In other words, you are missing the point entirely.

Its so easy to slip out of heart-center and into ego. Under or overinflated ego is not your friend. Overinflated and you walk into the room believing that you are the smartest one in the room. Underinflated and you walk into the room believing that you are the dumbest. You might not like those words, but that's the point. You shouldn't, both are detrimental and judgmental.

What does it mean to be heart-centered? It means that you are conscious of your thoughts, your words and your actions. You don't react, you respond. When someone comes to you with anger, you deflect it and respond from a place of calm. If you respond in anger because they came at you with anger then you've slipped into ego. If you communicate back with understanding but accountability you are eminating from heart.

I had two occasions just this week that required this. Two individuals were irritated to the point of being aggressive with me over something rather small. I knew that their reaction had nothing to do with me or what I had done. I had two very different responses to my heart-centered response. One was immediately diffused and became kind. The other became more irritated and attempted to guilt me by relaying all the things that are going on in her life and this small thing was impacting her greatly. Oh, and she also implied that my response was snarky...well, what she said was "an 'ok' would've been sufficient". To which then I pointed out that her initial request to me could've been written differently as well, and perhaps it was the deflection of her energy that was causing her discomfort, as I would have no way of knowing all the things that were going on in her life that made this small thing such a huge issue. I extended her an invitation. Why? Because my intention was heart-centered all along and I could see that I was accurate in my initial gut feeling to reach out to her. Her response? A passive-aggressive rant on facebook.

Two very different outcomes.

Being heart-centered does not mean that everything will go as you like. It does not mean that every situation will be resolved kindly. What it does mean is that 1) things won't escalate, 2) you won't allow someone else's anger to infect you 3) you could help another.

Being heart-centered as a healer, energy worker, life coach type person means you don't talk about you more than you talk about your client. It talks about what you offer, but not that you are magical, or 'have the magic fix', etc. You are a human being just like your human being clients.

Don't set yourself above them. You'll both be dissatisfied.

#ego #egocentered #heartcentered #student #teacher