The Drive To Get High
- Judy Klemos
- May 30, 2015
- 6 min read
My daughter read this article to me http://www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/700-words-that-explain-exactly-what-it-feels-like-to-do-hero#.bcp7YRrZz. It is one person's account through heroine addiction into recovery. She went on and on about how she can't imagine WHY someone would even try it and how she would never.
As I listened intently to her, something instantly clicked for me.
We all have an innate drive to get high.
For as long as I can remember I had this hunger...this urge...this drive to 'find something else'. This feeling had no name but was eternally restless and disatisfied. It kept me looking for *something* though I knew not what.
Its an unsettling. Sometimes I heard people describe it as 'being bored'. Its a restlessness. In actuality its an internal motivation to move in the direction of our destiny.
The first high I remember was in grade school. It was a boy. That rush of excitement as I tried to figure out if he liked me or not. The high when I found out he did, as well as the crash when he didn't. That first taste, however, does you in. That seek for something that brings you to Euphoria. High School offered more such highs...and lows.
Freshmean year in college was a whole other set of highs. The whole experience of college made me high - being away from home for the first time, meeting new people, learning new things. The sisterhood of the women I attended college with lent to that high. The knowledge that I was soaking up fed that high. Finding a small church off campus that had a lot of singing during service, escalated that high. Being in the beautiful bluffs along the Mississippi river was the greatest high of all. Writing was an incredible high! There were other highs too, that weren't so elevating. Being in a state where the legal drinking age was 19 offered an alcohol high quite often. And as always there were men. I would get addicted to that new relationship energy! When it disipated (cuz that's what it does) then I would need to find a new one to get that high back.
Thankfully, I never experimented with drugs other than alcohol. After reading, that article however, the similiarities are indisputable. The drive is not the problem. The drive is your calling. The calling of your highest self, "Here. Come here. I'm over here." How else would we know to look? The problem lies in no one knowing this! Everyone is thinking everyone else 'has it together' or 'has it all figured' out when in reality everyone is answering that call in a different way. The longing, or the drive, is what motivates you to begin to look for what it is you came here (to Earth) to find. It is the feeling that something is missing, because something is. We are perfect beings of Love having the experience of being imperfect beings of Love. But its all really pretend because we can't not be what we are.
There are all sorts of highs that can mislead us. Recreational drugs (including alcohol and prescription abuse) of course are one, but so are gambling, sex, exercise, nicotine, sugar, religion, television, video gaming etc. The problem is that when we get distracted by these substitute highs we are diverted from accessing our highest selves. The 'restlessness' is relieved temporarilty and so we think that we have found what we need, which is when we can become addicted to one of these substitutes. We seek them over and over because they only mimic the euphoria we are entitled to. We need more of one or additional others to get that same substitue euphoric feeling. Someone might first try alcohol, then add cigarettes, then add in marijuana, then sex...it just escalates and gets one further and further off course.
One unhealthy choice will lead to another unhealthy choice. The more you make of one the more you will be led to make another. The more often you drink alcohol the more you will be drawn into situations where other unhealthy options will be present. Perhaps it is cigarettes. Then perhaps it will be marijuana. Before you know it, your life is filled with unhealthy activities. You are drinking alcohol in more amounts and more often than you planned. You are making plans to get high with marijuana. Then inevitably harder drugs will become an option. Where will it stop? That my dear, Emma, is how people end up 'trying' heroine. Every unhealthy decision they made before that, led them to that decision.
The more unhealthy choices you make the less joyful you become and the less healthy choices you make, because healthy choices are no longer in your path. You'd have to go out of your way to choose healthy, rather than having them be the options right in front of you. Its easier to never get on the unhealthy path, rather than trying to get off it several years down that road.
When we engage in activities that feed our soul we experience genuine euphoria as a result of getting in touch with our highest selves. Things like meditation, yoga, self-exploration, chanting, gardening and moderate exercise all raise our vibrations to a degree that we are in a state of euphoria naturally...healthfully. Some engagements, such as exercise, sex and religion, if done with the right intent, in moderation, enhance our higher self euphoria and don't become dangerous substitutes, but they are strictly meant to be supplemental not fundamental, otherwise they become addictions of their own.
The fundamental activity of the higher self is unconditional love...and it starts with unconditionally loving ourselves. When we explore our passions we expand our experience of life. When we expand our experience of life, we expand our experience of ourselves. When we engage in substiute highs we numb our natural instinct (drive) to explore our higher selves and we are cheating ourselves. Without the natural drive to explore our passions then life does indeed become boring. Nothing that will make you truly happy can be found outside yourself. Everything that will make you happy begins with you.
Every relationship you have, begins with you. It starts with the energy you give to yourself. Whatever vibration you are operating at, that is the life you will have. Every activity and thought has a vibration. The more activities you do with a higher vibration, the higher your vibration will rise. The more thoughts you have with a higher vibration the higher your vibration will rise. The higher your vibration rises the more changes you will see in your life. People you used to hang out with won't be comfortable with that, but you will begin to draw in people of a higher vibration. This in turn will present new opportunities for higher vibrational activities.
Don't fool yourself. It all starts with one little decision. Higher or lower vibration...it all starts with one little decision. You make one little decision and more decisions like that will follow. Higher or lower. Don't think you can make a few little lower vibrational decisions and go right back to making higher ones, they will begin to become out of focus for you, and it is so subtle and gradual that you won't even notice. You will convince yourself it is 'just one time' and before you know it you will be way over the line you never intended to cross.
If you find yourself engaging in more than one subsitute high (or engaging in one more than twice a week), I suggest you stop them for 90 days and listen to what your higher self is telling you. Explore your passions fully. Find new passions and explore them fully. Experience yourself without the artificial highs. Keep a journal for those 90 days and see what a different life you begin to live.
You will find the 'missing something'...inside yourself. Set up a self-exploration routine. A morning ritual of yoga, QiGong, prayer or chanting, followed by good eating habits, lots of water, and passionate activities like writing, riding a bike, walking in nature. Follow that with an afternoon session of chanting, meditation, art, writing, prayer or yoga. Limit your tv watching and talk radio listening. Trade them out for playlists with soothing meditative vibrations. Listen to Native American or African music for a change. These are vibrations that are ever so healing! Expand your horizons!! If you are bored, it is your own fault. There is SO much out there that most people never even hear about because they have numbed themselves to the search with substitute highs!
Let me know how your 90 days goes for you!! I'm interested in hearing how many have the courage to change and what the results are!
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